On friendships and overthinking

by jemfinch

#8 Start by asking yourself whether each of your relationships drags you down or lifts you up. Surrounding yourself with positive, loving people is half the battle of living a happy, successful life.*

Over the sembreak, I began to question the friends I’ve only just recently recognized as such. I began to compare them to those I’ve been with for years and began doubting them. Why can’t they be there for me like my high school friends are? Why does it seem like they don’t and won’t ever understand? Why can’t they be as great friends as my friends at home?

Then I thought the answer was because they weren’t true friends.

Now that I think about it even more, I was being silly. Of course I will be more comfortable with those I’ve been with longer. We’ve been through so much. They’ve had so much time to know me and me them.

Of course it doesn’t mean fresh friendships would always be shallow but I was being unfair towards my “new friends” when I thought they didn’t really care about me. It was just that I had to think about each friendship separately. Of course one friendship can’t ever be the same as another but the question was whether or not I have felt the love from each friend. And fact is, I did. And I still do.

Sometimes I come up with instances when they dragged me down. But that’s exactly it. I come up with these situations. I expect them to do something wrong so that’s what I notice and zoom in on. But should I really expect them to do no wrong? I haven’t been a perfect friend and with that kind of thinking over the break, I’ve even become a horrible one.

This is one of the things that brought forth the resolution of noticing the nice little things people do for me. When I think about them than dwell on the bad ones, I know that I am blessed.

 

*Read http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/05/15/111-lessons-life-taught-us/

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